Situation: Some twat waffle telling me that I give women everywhere a bad name because my husband spent $400 on a tool box (for work) without asking me first and I didn't get pissy about it and make him suffer etc etc etc. So, here's my awesome response. Enjoy!
"Sorry Ladies, Couldn't think of a better place to get this off of my chest before I say it to the person it is aimed at: Dear _________, Did it take specific training to be complete and total yakks arse or does it come naturally to you? First, let me assure you that I do not now, nor will I ever want or need your opinion on my marriage. If I choose to not get make my husband suffer for buying a $400 tool box without my knowledge or consent, it is MY BUSINESS... just like everything else in our marriage. Keep your feminist ideals to yourself. Just because you take every chance you get to try and rip your husbands penis off, does not mean that other women do or should. Call me old fashioned, but what has your 'pants wearing' personality gotten you? Your husband would rather pay some crappy hooker $400 to take him behind the big lots and play hide the penis than to come home and touch you with a ten foot pole. I can imagine your voice sounds the very same to him as it does me... like a fork scrapping along a plate. He cannot seem to tolerate you any more than I can... so, tell me again how I am doing MY marriage wrong? Oh and PLEASE go on in exaggerating detail about your plan for your life again... as if that doesn't bore everyone around you into absolute comatose states... seriously, they would all rather fake seizures or bash themselves in the head that be anywhere near your insufferable arse. I mean seriously, you are not as important as you think you are. You are only ALIVE likely because of a lack of prophylactic valor during one of your mothers drunken one night stands... which reminds me to level a lawsuit against Trojan because they allowed you to be born. Every breath you take reminds me of why post birth abortion should be legal. If it were not for the law, and that you don't equate with the cost of a bullet, I would do it myself. Now, if you so much as GLANCE in my direction EVER again with the intent of telling me how I am giving women everywhere a bad name for allowing my husband to maintain his masculinity and not castrating him as soon as he enters our home, I promise you that you will regret it for the rest of your days. I am ALMOST everything you say I am. I am mean. I am ruthless. I am fearless. AND I will make your life a living hell, you sorry excuse for intelligent life form. Take your uneducated, domestically disabled sack of wrinkles and cheap perfume to the cosmetic surgery office and beg for a personality transplant and a brain lift. I would just as soon roast marshmallows and kosher hot dogs over your burning body than throw the vomit you induce from me on you to put out the fire. You are the very example of how to be an under stimulated c-word and I hope that you rot in the very lowest depths of hell and that not even Hitler gives you the time of day. Why don't you just head on down the road and kick puppies or whatever it is you do in your spare time when you are not shaking my cage? I sincerely hope that you contract rabies and that your minuscule brain swells up just enough for you to realize what a complete puss infested, cobweb filled vagina you have been for your entire life before you die a horrible death and more importantly, I hope it happens before you manage to actually SPREAD any of the nonsense that spins around that empty expanse you call a head to your children. Now, PLEASE go home and take a long look in your mirror, assuming it doesn't shatter and slice you open (excuse me while I cross my fingers) and reflect on how you should make sure your own yard is mowed before you DARE to venture over the hedges to mine. Oh, where are my manners? Have a GREAT day. Signed, Me Thanks Ladies! I needed a short vent! :D "
Bwahahaha! Funny, right?
Dude I totally agree with you!!! Just because you're married to someone you can still treat yourself and not have to "ask for permission", geez. You go girl.
ReplyDeleteUgghhh! I hate when people try to run my marriage in general... if I wanted to have to answer to more than one person, I would have become a sister wife!
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