Monday, September 19, 2011

My Nerves are Shot!

For those that do not know, my husband has been gone for the majority of the last two months. He is hopefully coming home at the end of this week from a hellacious stay in the desert of California (Desert Opps... fun fun fun!).

So, I have been in a mad rush to get everything ready. You know, make sure the house is clean and do most of his chores so that when he gets here, he doesn't have to immediately jump on the broken lawn mower, etc. I've hired a guy to help me out with the yard (and there is still SO much to be done before Courtney's wedding in November) and have arranged someone to come get the lawn mower and fix the blasted thing. I mean, the boys have been under lots of physical and emotional distress the past few weeks (again, hurray for Desert Opps!): They are sleep deprived, hungry, covered in sand, spent 24 hours being flooded (after which their clothes got moldy and made them sick), sick, moldy, stinky... and he spent his 26th Birthday out there like that. I figure the man will be ready for a hot shower, good food, clean clothes, and playing spell with his dog children, a nap, and then a night with his wife. It's the least of what he deserves, right?

I'm also planning his birthday party for this weekend... family, friends, church members etc are gathering up at my house to celebrate his birthday belatedly. Another reason to have the place spiffed up a little bit. :)

On top of that, I'm still trying to keep up with all of my classes from both ECU and JCC... Ahhhh!

I'm also still working. And you know, you just have to wonder for how long one must shoulder EVERYTHING? Is part of being an adult going through life feeling like you are juggling chainsaws?


On the bright side, the hubby will be home soon (Goodbye Loneliness!) and I will eventually graduate... leaving me with like 3 degrees at which I will stare and drool.

So, if you have been wondering why I have not posted the past few days? Well, it's because I am yanking out my hair by the roots.

Sweet Tea and Cookies, Ya'll!
The busy Bee,
Mrs. Belle


Thursday, September 15, 2011

The right to NOT be raped...

“Not being assaulted is not a privilege to be earned through the judicious application of personal safety strategies. A woman should be able to walk down the street at 4 in the morning in nothing but her socks, blind drunk, without being assaulted, and I, for one, am not going to do anything to imply that she is in any way responsible for her own assault if she fails to Adequately Protect Herself. Men aren’t helpless dick-driven maniacs who can’t help raping a vulnerable woman.” - Emily Nagoski
This quote is awesome. For a long time, *I* like the masses, did not know better than to partially blame victims of rape. I would think to myself "Well, she shouldn't be walking down dark alleys... everyone knows that's dangerous" or "Why was she by herself? One should never walk alone after dark in a city!".  Looking back on it, I am deeply ashamed of those thoughts... and I make no excuses for my ignorance. Yes, we are all taught not to walk down dark alleys, stay with friends, don't get so drunk that you don't know what is going on, etc etc etc. However, this quote was an eye opener for me. I SHOULD be able to walk around naked and drunk and not be touched... Not that I will, but the whole idea is that the MEN should know not to touch me. 
 I mean really... how hard it is to NOT sexually assault people? Just leave them alone. Keep walking. Keep your junk in your pants... If more people did, then perhaps I wouldn't have to carry a gun around with me to protect myself. 
Isn't it weird when you find out something that you were raised to think is so completely wrong? I remember a class in school where they were warning us, as third graders, about rape and the gyst was that if we don't want to be raped, don't ask for it and be prepared. Don't put yourself in any compromising situations (which is a good idea anyway, but bear with me). I mean, isn't that to an extent saying that if I do walk down a dark alley at night, then I am asking for it and deserve what I get? Isn't that ridiculous? Shouldn't a woman be able to take a short cut home if she wants? To blame her for some dude not being able to keep his grubby paws to himself is pretty... stupid. 
 It seems like an injustice for sure... and yes, I do realize that in an ideal world, we wouldn't have to worry about it but that our world is far from ideal- so arm yourself. But what is the harm in demanding that our world be better? To think that it SHOULD be better and to HOPE that one day it will be?
 Seriousness all over this blog today...
 Sweet Tea and Cookie's Ya'll! 
Mrs. Belle 


Those without children need not apply...

Okay, so I had someone on a military wife forum that I talk on tell me that not wanting children is 'weird' and 'unnatural'... then she followed up by saying that women were put on earth to have children and that if they are choosing not to have children, then  they are not doing God's will. She said that 'ALL women should have children'.

Well, this certainly is news to me. For those of you who do not know, my husband and I are happily child free by choice. We are not 'childless' which would imply that we are missing something... and I assure you that we are not.

So, all in one breath, this hussy told me that I'm weird, unnatural, wrong and that I am not doing God's work.Ya'll, I must say that for a full 10 seconds or so I could not find a damn thing to say. Her blatant sexism and stupidity literally sucked all of the words out of my mouth. As you can imagine, I do not find myself speechless very often.

My first thought was: What a thing to say? Women have worked hard the past 100 years to get us the rights that we have today so that we do not have to stay pregnant 9 months out of every 12. We can vote. We can say 'No'! We can wear pants. We can ride horses sitting astride instead of in a side saddle... and for those of you who have never had that experience, let me assure you that it is a pain in the arse, but I digress. It infuriated me that even though *I* am not a feminist (if there is a man around to open a door or life a heavy box, then why should I?), I do believe in women's rights and the fact that there are women out there who are blatantly trying to ruin it for the rest of us! It literally was like watching the evolution of women's rights backtrack.

My second thought was: HOW DARE YOU?! How dare you use my religion to insult me or imply that I am doing anything other than what I should be doing? How dare you tell me that I am unnatural? I am a Christian. I do go sit my tail in church on Sunday. I do try to live the right kind of life. I am kind to others. I am generous. I am a good person... but none of that matters all because I have a uterous and I'm not using it? What if I cured AIDS... that work would be worthless because I do not have a screaming child ruining other people's dinner? Ridiculous.

My husband and I made the right choice for us. It's not the choice for everyone, but it is for us at this time. To judge us for that makes me want to kick my mailbox.

And yes, I know that I shouldn't let one idiot anger me so much... but she isn't the only one! There are millions of people just like her who look at us and say "Wow, I can't imagine my life without my kids... your lives must be so empty!"... Ugh... No. My life is full of things that you cannot do with children. For example, on a whim (and with enough cash) I can pick up and go to Ireland for a month or more. I can travel and study abroad. I can spend my extra cash on me instead of buying Barbie's and school clothes for a child. I can worry about ME and MY HUSBAND and OUR DOGS and that is IT! Yes, it is mildly selfish. I am a selfish person... hence why I do not need children. I feel like my life should be about me and my husband. Just us. No one competing for our attention and taking us away from each other... none of that mess.

I like our life just the way it is and to have someone tell me that I am 'unnatural' for it? It makes me want to drink.

Sweet Tea and Cookie's Ya'll!
The 'Unnatural' Mrs. Belle

Sunday, September 11, 2011

I'll Never Forget.

Every generation has a day in their lives that they will never forget. A day that changed the course of history. For some, it was the death of Elvis. For some, it was Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I have a dream" speech. For others, it was the assassination of Kennedy.

For me it was September 11, 2001. I was in the 8th grade. I remember watching the footage with my class. I remember being confused and horrified. Then, I remember being terrified... if they could and would attack something as large as the World Trade Center and something as fortified as the pentagon, what won't they come after? What about my Mom who works on base? Was I SAFE anymore?

I remember very clearly watching a man fall as he jumped from one of those windows. He didn't look that old... a guy that might have been the age I am now. I thought to myself, what must the inside of that building be like if he would choose a death like that? What kind of hell could possibly be worse than cracking your skull open on concrete after the terror of falling from such a height? He couldn't have possibly thought he would make it... I truly believe that this man was choosing his manner of death and he chose the lesser of two evils. It must have been a helluva choice.

I remember when we heard about flight 93. I remember hearing about the man who got one phone call out... just one... to tell his wife that he loved her and that he wasn't coming home. How awful must that call have been? How brave must those passengers have been? Those men that rallied to do the right thing? How terrified must the other passengers have been when they realized that whether the men took on the hijackers or not, they were going to die? Can you imagine having to make a decision like that... to realize that you are going to die and the only decision that you have to make is how you are going to go down? Well kudos to you, passengers of flight 93, you went down in a blaze of Glory and will forever be known as heroes. You made the right decision... the only decision.

Every year, I hear someone say "Why should I thank people for doing their jobs?" in reference to the firemen and policemen and soldiers. Let me tell you why, you ungrateful little snots: Because they did NOT HAVE to do their jobs. That building was coming down. It was FULL of jet fuel (think 100 times more difficult to breath than gasoline) and flames. The gasses from the flames alone would be enough to kill people. Then, of course, there was the smell of burning bodies, the screams of panicked people who did not have a snowball's chance in hell, and the stench of death and despair. Let me tell you something, they did NOT have to go in there. They could have stayed outside and directed traffic. They could have melted down and cried (and who could blame them). But they did not. They ponied up and went inside. They faced the hell that caused that man to leap from that window... the hell that was worse than death. And some of them never made it out. I'm willing to bet my soul that some of them never even considered not going in. They, my friends, are what you call heroes. Neighbors, friends, the people who sit in the pew behind you who died saving others. If that is not a hero, then by George what is?

I also hear every year "Oh Lord, this propaganda again? No one cares the other 364 days of the year and they all pretend to mourn on this one...". You are incorrect. I care. Every freaking day. I watch my husband don his ACU's every day to go fight a war... and I never forget why he does it. Neither does he and I can assure you that it has nothing to do with a paycheck. My husband is a brave man... he is a great man. He is a hero. I know that he would lay down his life to save others and it makes me unspeakably proud of him. Every day is Independence day at the Belle house. I am thankful every day (some more than others) for the people who have died so that I can be who I am. So that I can own my own land (with my husband of course). So that I can worship whatever God I please. So that I can shave my arm pits (some places don't allow that... gross!). So that I can hold a job, drive my truck, drink all I want, wear pants etc etc etc. America may not be perfect, but it is DAMN sure better than some other places. My husband does not trade me like cattle to other men. I, as a female (not a feminist..) have a voice and am not a commodity. Consider that next time you want to curse about how 'sucky' it is here. Also, feel free to leave. Our borders are not closed for people exiting the country. No one is making you stay here. If you cannot be grateful for basic freedom, get out of my focking country. If you cannot find it in yourself to be grateful for the liberties that you were born into, hop a plane overseas to the Middle East. Put on your parka and let me know how much you hate America when you are one of 10 wives for some fat Arabic dude who uses you hard and ruthlessly because you got caught and sold into slavery. Good Luck with that. Pardon my rant.

*Steps down off of my soap box and scoots it aside*

But I digress.

Here's to remembering:

The man who leapt to his death to avoid a living hell
The people who were crushed to death in the stairways by their coworkers in a hurry to flee to safety
The people who suffered through the stench of rotting flesh in the days that followed in the hope of finding just one more person alive.
To the men and women who died because it never occurred to them to be anything other than a hero.
To the thousands of men and women who stepped up to the plate and joined the military to protect me and you (and do not kid yourself into thinking that we would be safe without them).
To the children who grew up without parents because of this tragedy.
To the parents who had to bury their children before themselves.
To the families who will never be whole again.
To the wife who called her husband on the stairwell to tell him that she would love him forever.
To the wife who received a phone call from her husband on flight 93.
To the passengers who had no choice.
To the children, like myself, who did not understand but who will never forget.
To the Veterans who lost life and limbs.
To the people who set aside their lives to help others in need.

To those of us who remember every day, not just once a year.

And finally a picture from today: Joe Caristo of Miami who once worked at the World Trade Centers stands in tearful silence as he remembers the friends and coworkers that he lost 10 years ago.

Link to Story of Obama's words on today and Joe's picture where I found it.


Sunday, September 4, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday: Suckish!

Ughhh... Today was a long day.

Jack (the dog referenced in this blog post) lost his mind last night and legit tried to kill me and I ultimately had to call animal control to come get him because I was afraid for my safety.

No joke, it was really really bad and by far the scariest, sketchiest situation that I have ever been in.

Long story short, I made the best decision that I could in a bad situation.

The hubby is gone on a desert training exercise and I miss him terribly.

Let's hope that tomorrow (Labor Day!) goes by quickly and without incidence and that it leads into a week that is more peaceful than this past one was!

Sweet Tea and Cookie's Ya'll!
The Tired and Worn Out, Mrs. Belle


Sexy Saturdays: Shyness, be gone!

Ladies and Gents,

I cannot tell you how many people come into work and are shy about why they are there. They attempt to sneak in, keep their faces hidden, eyes down cast, grab what they are after and pay as quickly as possible and hit the road. I just wanted to put this out there: There is NOTHING to be ashamed of!

For starters, there is nothing you can tell me, ask me, etc that I have not heard probably twice before. You are a man that likes wearing ladies lingerie? Okay. You want the largest fake penis that we carry? Great, it's over there. You want movies involving mature milfs being naughty? Second Section, third shelf. Really, it is no big deal. Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Old, Young, Male, Female... no big deal. I have a 92 year old customer... yes, she is still having sex at 92. We should all be so lucky! Long story short, I am not going to judge you. If you are interested in anal play and you want anal beads, lubricant (use silicone based lube!) and desensitizing gel (a little dab will do ya), then that is fine! No judgement, just customer service.

Secondly, I'm not sure if you are aware of this but... SEX HAPPENS! All the time. All day every day. Someone is having sex right now as we speak. People have sex... it was taboo in the past but in modern times, it is just a past time that is to be enjoyed between consenting adults (sorry kiddies, no judging, but also not condoning kiddie porn or underage sex... nothing personal) and it's going to happen sooner or later. Why not be ready and able to enjoy it?

At any rate, I know this blog is a day late (long story, but busy weekend) but please, do not deprive yourself from a good shopping experience or from being able to fully enjoy a sexual encounter because you were too shy to ask a sales associate which lube is best for sensitive skin.

As always, if you have any questions, comments or concerns post and I will address them in future blogs.

Sweet Tea and Cookie's Ya'll!
Mrs. Belle


Thursday Thrift Store Finds!

Okay, I know that it isn't Thursday and that I am a few days late (3 days to be exact) I wanted to go ahead and start his blog.

A lot of people avoid thrift stores etc because they think of the items in there as 'used' and gross. Well, that really isn't the case! I go into thrift stores to look around every chance I get and I find (and buy) some awesome things!

This past week, I went to a thrift store near my house that benefits the 'Me Fine' Foundation. It's called 'Second Hope' (See Facebook Page Here). For those of you who do not know about the 'Me Fine' Foundation, please go see their site... it's a story of a beautiful, brave little boy who would smile in the face of Leukemia and make the best of each day. Whenever the staff at the hospital or his family would ask him how he was doing, Folden Lee IV would say 'Me Fine!' with a big smile.

At any rate, this little consignment shop is great and they have great things inside. If you are ever headed down US Hwy 70 near Princeton, NC stop in. The staff is amazing and you are bound to meet great people, find awesome buys, and every penny goes to the 'Me Fine' foundation in honor of little Folden.

Check out my treasures!

I got these two necklace charms because they are adorable:
This little bejeweled flip flop screams summer time to me!

Cute right?
I got this necklace charm because it tuggs at my inner coin collecting dork, even though it isn't a real coin:
I'm a dork, I know ;)
These two books (JD Robb a.k.a Nora Roberts is a thriller and the Inspired Love book is a Christian Romance Novel). They were only 50 Cents Each!
I love to read novels...
These three bracelets and watch caught my eye too. I haven't worn a watch in YEARS and this one just screams 'Mrs. Belle!' I've worn it to work all week and can you say LOVE?! One of the bracelets is a stretchy bracelet that is made up of wine theme charms (thought of you Immediately Mrs. Monologues!) and it appealed to my inner Lush. The other charm bracelet has shoe charms.. Yes. Shoes. Flip Flops, Heels, Wedges... all of my favorites! I love the third bracelet just because of it's jeweled simplicity. The colors match nearly everything in my wardrobe and it just screams spring/summer time and fun!
The first view of my 'Lush' bracelet

You should see this bracelet... it is lovely!

My newest every day accessory

Shoes! Love!

A Second View of my 'Lush bracelet
I also got this flag. I'll come back and add a picture of it flying when I can get it hung. It is presh!
I can't wait to hang this!
This shell necklace and earring combo is Awesome in person! the pictures do not do it justice! They also match the watch and we all know that matching accessories are a must!
So pretty in person!
Here is a group shot for the full effect!
That's a lot of loot, right?

Now, for fun, let's guess what I spent... ready? $48. All of this cute stuff for less than $50 AND that $50 went towards a great cause in name of a brave little boy. Could it get any better, this blogger asks? I think not!

Long story short, Lovelies, do not shy away from thrift stores in the area! A) you can find great things at great prices and B) you could support a worthy cause!

Sweet Tea and Cookies, Ya'll!
Mrs. Belle