Thursday, September 15, 2011

The right to NOT be raped...

“Not being assaulted is not a privilege to be earned through the judicious application of personal safety strategies. A woman should be able to walk down the street at 4 in the morning in nothing but her socks, blind drunk, without being assaulted, and I, for one, am not going to do anything to imply that she is in any way responsible for her own assault if she fails to Adequately Protect Herself. Men aren’t helpless dick-driven maniacs who can’t help raping a vulnerable woman.” - Emily Nagoski
This quote is awesome. For a long time, *I* like the masses, did not know better than to partially blame victims of rape. I would think to myself "Well, she shouldn't be walking down dark alleys... everyone knows that's dangerous" or "Why was she by herself? One should never walk alone after dark in a city!".  Looking back on it, I am deeply ashamed of those thoughts... and I make no excuses for my ignorance. Yes, we are all taught not to walk down dark alleys, stay with friends, don't get so drunk that you don't know what is going on, etc etc etc. However, this quote was an eye opener for me. I SHOULD be able to walk around naked and drunk and not be touched... Not that I will, but the whole idea is that the MEN should know not to touch me. 
 I mean really... how hard it is to NOT sexually assault people? Just leave them alone. Keep walking. Keep your junk in your pants... If more people did, then perhaps I wouldn't have to carry a gun around with me to protect myself. 
Isn't it weird when you find out something that you were raised to think is so completely wrong? I remember a class in school where they were warning us, as third graders, about rape and the gyst was that if we don't want to be raped, don't ask for it and be prepared. Don't put yourself in any compromising situations (which is a good idea anyway, but bear with me). I mean, isn't that to an extent saying that if I do walk down a dark alley at night, then I am asking for it and deserve what I get? Isn't that ridiculous? Shouldn't a woman be able to take a short cut home if she wants? To blame her for some dude not being able to keep his grubby paws to himself is pretty... stupid. 
 It seems like an injustice for sure... and yes, I do realize that in an ideal world, we wouldn't have to worry about it but that our world is far from ideal- so arm yourself. But what is the harm in demanding that our world be better? To think that it SHOULD be better and to HOPE that one day it will be?
 Seriousness all over this blog today...
 Sweet Tea and Cookie's Ya'll! 
Mrs. Belle 



  1. My apologies Liz... Rape is a terrible, terrible thing. I think that it hits too close to home for way too many women. A majority have been raped, molested, date raped, taken advantage of etc etc... or at the very least have had an uncomfortable close call.

    Perhaps one day we wont have to worry about it... until then, we all have each other.