Euthanasia is the king of guilt. I'm pretty sure that no one makes that decision and walks away guilt free, even if it was what was best for the pet involved.
One of the things that was suggested for me, was to make a list of all the ways that I made Alaska happy/ spoiled etc.
1) Alaska loved to lay in the sun on the grass and I indulged her every chance I got.
2) Alaska loved to ride in the truck, so I took her everywhere with me.
3) We took Alaska on long and short road trips.
4) Even though Alaska was on a prescription diet, I still fed her things that she loved... like French Fries.
5) We bought Alaska orthopedic beds... a lot of them. The more uncomfortable she got, the more we tried to find beds that would make her more comfortable. In the end, she had a bed in every room.
6) I talked to Alaska quite a bit... and I payed her a lot of attention.
7) I snuggled Alaska a lot and I pet her every chance that I got. I feel certain that she didn't feel ignored.
8) I loved playing with her when she was well enough. Usually it would consist of me gently ruffling her fur and her swatting at me with her front paws.
9) Everyone that passed through my house, loved on and doted on Alaska. I made sure of it.
10) I made sure that Alaska had chew toys... even though she only had like one tooth, she loved raw hides!
In general, I doted on Alaska. I made sure that if she wanted or needed anything, she had it. I spent so much of my time taking care of her, loving her, petting her etc that I'm not even sure what to do with my time now. It's weird not having her here making her little bleating lamb noises and waddling along after me as I cross from room to room. It's weird not calling for her when I get home. Or not putting her in the truck with me when I run to the post office or go for a weekend at my Grandmother's house. Even not having her sleeping on the rug outside of my shower or laying in the hallway in front of the door... it's just odd not having her here.
Isn't it crazy how much one small, elderly eskie can make such a huge difference in your life?
Sweet Tea and Cookie's, Ya'll!
The Still Grieving,
Mrs. Belle
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