Monday, October 10, 2011


As some of you know from my previous posts, Sgt. Belle and I just celebrated our 3 year anniversary. May I just say that even though it seems like these three years have flown by, I cannot tell you how much I have grown in that time. When I think of all of the things that I have known, not known, thought I knew, changed my mind about, and learned... it's like we've already lived a lifetime and we have a life time to go.

My favorite quote about marriage is one that I came up with on my own for a friend of mine: "There is no one you will love or hate as much as your spouse and there is nothing as ridiculous, or as wonderful, as being married." That, to me, encompasses most of everything that there is to know about marriage.

As much as I wish that it was a fairy tale and as much as I DREAMED of a fairy tale marriage... I am devastated to tell you, my readers, that there is no fairy tale. Tragic right? How am I supposed to be a Princess (as my Daddy always told me that I am) if there is not Friggin' fairy tale?

Answer: Very carefully ;)... but I digress.

Marriage takes work. It doesn't take work for me to love my husband... that comes naturally. I just DO love it. I do not have to try. It does take work to find compromises. It takes work to reign in my temper. It takes work to pick my battles and to overlook the little things in favor of a more peaceful household. And, most of all, it takes a lot of work to make MYSELF a better person, for both me and him.

Another tragic fact: it is not always the spouses fault. Nope. Sometimes it's your fault. Sorry to break that to you (theoretical/hypothetical you, of course) but sometimes it is YOUR fault. We all like to think that it is never our faults... I HATE when it's my fault. But sometimes it is. Sometimes, the fight is my fault and all I can do (when I realize it... because most of the time I don't realize that it's my fault until somewhere near Armageddon) is apologize. Sometimes it's his fault... and I either forgive him or he pays hell, depending on the crime. Sometimes, it's just the Cosmos. The zipper on my favorite dress ripping while A) I am wearing the dress and B) He is zipping the dress. I'm mad because my dress is ripped. He's mad because that means that I have to change and it makes us late. Whose fault? Cosmos. Did I intend to get a dress that's a little snug, No.. (well, sometimes... but that's a different story). Did he mean to go he-man and hulk up on my poor zipper and rip it from my body? Probably not. Is God sitting up there smiling about it? Yes, I do think he is. I think that God finds amusement in my life and that I am a constant form of comedic relief. Long story short, learn to roll with the punches and do not immediately point fingers at your significant other when things go wrong... Sometimes, (pardon my french) but shit just happens. Often, they are just as annoyed as you and you leaping at them with guns ablaze will likely just turn a ridiculous situation into a war.

My Grandmother gave me great marriage advice. She said that marriage is all about lines in the sand. She told me that I would spend a lot of time with a stick in my hand... sometimes I'll be drawing lines for him not to cross, sometimes I'll be adjusting or moving lines for him not to cross, sometimes I'll be erasing lines that I no longer care if he crosses, and other times I will be using the stick to whack him for crossing said lines.... and that he would be doing the same for me.

Smart woman.

So, some sage, late night advice on marriage. :)

Sweet Tea and Cookie's Ya'll!
Mrs. Belle


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