Sunday, July 31, 2011

Killer Whales

Let me start out by saying that when 'Free Willy' hit during the 90's, I was a hard core fan. At the end of the movie, there was an advertisement stating that if you pay a certain amount, you can 'adopt' an orca whale. I want you, the masses, to know that I wanted to 'adopt' an orca whale more than anything else in the world for years! Because? Because I truly thought that they would bring me an orca whale on a flat bed truck to live in a swimming pool in my back yard. I thought, and I was a fairly bright child, that 'adopting' and orca whale would be much like adopting a dog... you pay the fee, you take it home and you love it forever. Unfortunately, my Mother explained to me that wasn't the case. You send your money to an unknown outfit that in return sends you a calender and a stuffed whale and your money goes to do Lord knows what.


Now, I'm 23. Don't get me wrong, I would still like to own a whale, much like one would like to own a tiger... because it's bad ass!

That being said, recently in the news and in the past few years, people have been SHOCKED to be attacked and/or killed by orca's also known as killer whales. This, my friends, makes me laugh out loud.

People of the world, they are KILLER WHALES! Not Kutesy whales, not Kuddly whales, not Kissy whales... they are KILLER WHALES! So, please do explain to me why you are shocked to be mauled by a whale with the name 'killer' attached? If someone man (or woman) came up to you and said 'Hi, I'm Tom Killer, come ride me under water and put your hand in my mouth'... would you do it? Obviously it's a slightly creepy comparison, but the idea is still the same. I mean really... there is no false advertisement... the name 'Killer' is right up there in big, bold letters. Let's face it, at this point people go to the whale exhibit at Sea World just to see if Shamu number 7 is going to swallow Suzie the trainer whole or piece by piece. If you are a 'killer whale trainer' then I feel like you are probably know what you signed on for... how could you not? Therefore, though tragic, I'm thinking that the death of a Killer whale trainer by a Killer whale is not surprising.

Now we have people saying "We need to euthanize the whale. When a dog or a bear bites or kills someone, we euthanize it...". Okay... well... you're idiots. Though certain dogs (and bears) have a reputation for maiming people on the regular, they are still not known as 'killer' -insert breed here- officially. That should tell you something. If dogs (bears) kill things X amount of times per year and are not officially known as 'killer' -insert breed here- then imagine how much killing orcas had to do to get that name. A-freaking-lot. Tangent: Go to the discovery channel (or Youtube) and watch some videos of Orcas doing their killing things... they are INSANE KILLING MACHINES.

I watched a video of a killer whale taking on a great white shark. Yes, a true clash of the titans. Guess who won? The whale. It bit the shark, batted it around like a cat with a ball of yarn, then held it still and drowned it... then the whale and it's other orca buddy ate the sharks liver and left the rest of it for the astonished onlookers to gap at. Then, it swam away rather smugly. As it should... it just beasted the biggest bad ass threat under the sea. People quake that the thought of being attacked by a great white shark while swimming... but they want to ride on and pet the one mammal in the sea that can make the Great White look like it's bitch?

Knowing all of that, I would still like to 'adopt' an orca and have one as a pet... Logical? Not at all. At the expense of sounding hypocritical, I would like to say that my rant is NOT that people have Orcas or attempt to train them... my contempt is for those SHOCKED that the Orca's live up to their names. I would still love to have an Orca... I just wouldn't be shocked if it decided to snack on me.

I mean, it's kind of an awesome way to die right? Some die in car crashes, some die of drug overdoses... isn't being orca chow slightly more titillating?

I think so. :)

Sweet Tea and Cookies Ya'll!
~Mrs. Belle

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